Sup' with Brian?

This weekend was an awesome mix of variety! From a celebration/ceremony/anniversary of my girlfriend's grandparents passing away in the past few years, to painful hike in the Santa Monica Mountains, to a near perfect day on the Haunted Queen Mary, it was action packed!

Saturday morning, I had an experience I've never had before. It was the yearly anniversary of my girlfriend's grandparent passing. All four of her grandparents died a year apart, right around the same time of year. Saturday morning, my girlfriend and I woke up very early to travel across LA to Rose Hills cemetery to meet her extended family. I've met her parents and immediate family several times, but this would be the first time I would meet her extended family. The sun was a little above the horizon, when we arrived at the cemetery, and the scenery was breathtaking. This had to be the biggest cemetery I've ever seen, with rolling hills, almost as far as my eye can see, with faint glimpses of the downtown area on a peaceful clear day. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins all piled out of their cars, unloading several loads of flowers, incense, food, paper, and what appeared to be some sort of metal BBQ fire pit. From anyone not familiar with Chinese tradition, such as myself, you would think the family would BBQ/grill out for breakfast over the grandparents graves. Me, being the only white person there, and not directly a family member, chose to stay silent and observe (the fact that I know only a couple phrases of mandarin, and everyone there were speaking of a language I could barely understand, kept me as the silent observant). My girlfriend explained to me briefly before of what to expect a few days before, but I was still not sure of what to expect. The families set up flowers around 3 grandparents graves which are all located side by side. Food was placed around the graves, along with fake (in our world) paper money ("hell notes"), along with paper shaped items, like a paper suit, a paper dress, a paper watch, a paper cell phone, ect. After everything was distributed evenly, twelve sticks of burning incense were handed out to every person there, including myself. My girlfriend left my side to kneel down infront of each headstone to pray by placing the sticks of incense in between both hands, in a prayer like stance, shaking her hands three times, then placin three of the sticks in the ground by each headstone. The remaining three were placed off to the side, which later I found out it was not a fourth grave, but actually for the land and all of the other dead. The children were given more sticks to place on nearby graves, unrelated to the family. I found myself, not quite sure if I was to do the same as the family, but one of my girlfriend's aunts pushed me in the right direction, following what the person ahead of me was doing. I wasn't quite sure what to pray at something like this, since I did not know these grandparents at all. So I used this opportunity as I prayed to introduce myself to her spiritual ancestors and wish them well in the afterlife. I got to meet quite a lot of people during this ceremony! After I placed all the sticks of incense out by each headstone (not to mention one for the land!), my girlfriend's father, carts over the huge metal fire pit with watered down Chinese newspapers underneath it. He places some paper gold bars (that were folded up prior to our arrival), and ignites them on fire. A huge flame rises out of the pit. Everyone gathered around the fire pit, the paper "hell notes" were handed out, and everyone began tossing the money into the fire, watching it burn. Soon after everything else that was distributed to the deceased that was paper was thrown into the fire. It was a very peaceful, quiet, but not in a somber mood. Everywhere else I looked around the the cemetery, I saw people visiting their loved one's graves, in a very somber mood. But this family, seemed happy burning all these items one after another. I was informed earlier that the items that we were burning were being sent thru the fire for the deceased to use in the afterlife. Really nice way of honoring the dead! I loved it. After everything was burned (all but the food and the flowers), and the fire disappeared, everyone gathered up the food, loaded up their cars (leaving the incense and the flowers), and began to drive back to my girlfriend's parents house. When we arrived, all the food was set out on the table for all of us to consume! It was like a potluck! Very good Chinese food too! It was a perfect morning, and a great way to start off the weekend!

(the rest of the weekend, to be continued...)